reflections

23 September 2019

Dearest Reader,

               My last post was December 2017. A lot has happened in that time, and the time has passed like a dream. I would like to share some things I have learnt during this passing of time. First, it is that time is not always equal. Any woman that has gone through birth knows that time stops and speeds up in strange ways. Three minutes of contraction can feel like the world has stopped turning and eternity holds its breath in those moments, then it passes and all of life spins around you in slow motion and neck breaking speeds for the next year of that baby’s life. I have also learnt that time is not linear to The Gods, and that as we gain greater understanding and become One time can also change for us in being able to see more of the end from the beginning.
               I know now that suffering is relative. All who exist in this world suffer, no one is immune, and it is necessary for our growth. We tend to compare sufferings, but I will say that having people love me and nurture me through my paralysis has made this suffering much easier than the episodes of depression I have gone through without so much love. We cannot know how much others have suffered and must love all as if they’ve been through Hell, because we all have. There is a secret I have learnt, it is that when you look weak people feel sympathy and desire to help, but if you look put together and people assume you’re doing great that the feeling to help you isn’t present. Here is part of the secret of Zion… A people who are of One heart and One mind are a people who care about each other’s lives (not to gossip or judge) but to lighten the burdens which we all carry, whether we look strong or weak it should be noted that we all truly are weak and are made strong together.
               I’ve learnt that Heavenly Father sees His covenant keeping children as an extension of Himself. I have had many occasions where I have prayed for a meeting with The Lord, and within seconds of such prayers Brad has come in to comfort me, or my sons, a family member has called, or a friend has come to the door. It took me several times to finally realize what He was trying to teach me… I am surrounded by His messengers and He sees them as Himself.
               The purpose of life is to learn to enjoy things that are difficult for us. As a child I remember wishing that anyone might save me from any sort of work, inside the house or outside (I used to pray fairies were real and could do all my chores). Now I clean and work without much complaint and usually feel gratitude 1. That my body is capable and 2. At the outcome. The task itself might not be enjoyable, but the self-discipline I have gained is more satisfying than the enjoyment might have been. In this same vain, I have learnt how having less of what I crave (sweets, tv, sleep etc) and making choices to do things that are more difficult (make a salad, write a card, create conversations with my family) has brought this scripture to life, “bridle your passions that ye may be filled with love”. Doing things that are right isn’t something we do to get heaven points; it is something we do to create heaven within ourselves (become a new creature). That is why sacrifice is so important, because it changes us from being a leaf driven by the wind, to a rock that forges its own path. It literally gives us power. In this practice we become more like Christ, which then makes His Atonement more active in our lives, because we practiced the faith to sacrifice. A few months ago I woke up with the impression that I had to cut out most of the food I was eating and restrict myself to fruit, veg, legumes, nuts and eggs for at least one month. I cried! I told Heavenly Father how chocolate was the only thing getting me through the day right now! After I finished my sook, The Holy Ghost said “Isn’t it worth it to see if it helps?” and I said “yes, but I am not capable. I cannot do this, but I desire to follow The Lord’s advice.” Here I asked for the power of Jesus Christ’s Atonement. I promised that I would hold on to my desire if He could please take care of the rest. He did it! A power that was not mine came into me and I did not desire or crave anything other than what The Lord had commanded. There were a couple of times that bacon was served on salad and I ate it, but even after realizing The Lord was still so proud of me and kept His Power sustaining me. I don’t know how to explain it other than THIS WORKS and GOD IS GOD BECAUSE HE CAN FULFILL HIS PROMISES! Even the ones that tell us we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
               My family and I are well. We face challenges as you all do, but we love life, each other and Our God so much! May this week find each of us understanding Jesus Christ a little more. The friend who has always been ready to receive us.

               God bless

Joanna Joy