Dearest Reader,
I have been meaning to write this
letter for some time now; however the business of life can be quite
distracting.
My topic today is the relationship between parent and child. Becoming a mother has given me a new view and understanding of all of the different things that have been expressed and expected around the relationship. I now have the relationship and so am able to speak with some authority on the subject, however I will say here that Charlie is 15 months old and so I have not experienced all of the phases of parenting. This being said, I believe all things to be a type and a shadow.*
My main concern or conflict with the expectation expressed about this relationship by many throughout life is this, the idea that a child owes a parent for bringing them life and raising them. It is one thing to hear this heartfelt gratitude from a child/children, it is quite another to hear this expectation from the parents of a child/children. First and foremost, Brad and I have prayed and hoped and delighted in the decision to bring Charlie into this world. This was very much our decision. It could be said that Charlie decided that he wanted to come to earth through us, however this does not stand, as we could have chosen to not have any children. So here is the truth, Charlie is here because Brad and I decided we would love to have him in our lives. We did not know fully what sort of commitment we had ahead of us, but I believe that is probably why God gives us one, or two, babies at a time. We become educated on what this parenting business requires and then are able to make decisions on how many more we can care for.
Beyond the fact that we chose to have Charlie in our lives, and though it is very difficult at times, he has brought abundance to Brad and I, both as a couple and individually. We have learned so very much from him! About love, sacrifice, priorities, discipline, bridling passions, play and living in the moment. It is like when you are single you live in 2D, then you marry and life becomes 3D, now our perspective has opened and life is 4D! Our minds and hearts are expanded because of the inclusion of this beautiful child into our family relationship.
So you see why I repel the idea that my baby owes me anything for the life I have given him. I feel the exact reverse; I owe it to him to show him this life, to introduce him into this world in a way that gives him what he has given us.
I will end this by noting that I have the ability to train him to discipline himself, he has his own personality and is basically a kind and generous soul. If I sour these Christlike attributes by my own lack of self-discipline or pride than I have soured them and I certainly hope and pray that I do not, and pray he is strong enough to change the things I ought to have. The reality is that he is a reflection of Brad and I, yes he has his own characteristics and personality and may indeed decide to become a rascal despite our best efforts, but it is undeniable that he learns from us.
This has been playing on my mind for some time. I hope that I will always see what I can do for my babies rather than what they ought to do for me.
My topic today is the relationship between parent and child. Becoming a mother has given me a new view and understanding of all of the different things that have been expressed and expected around the relationship. I now have the relationship and so am able to speak with some authority on the subject, however I will say here that Charlie is 15 months old and so I have not experienced all of the phases of parenting. This being said, I believe all things to be a type and a shadow.*
My main concern or conflict with the expectation expressed about this relationship by many throughout life is this, the idea that a child owes a parent for bringing them life and raising them. It is one thing to hear this heartfelt gratitude from a child/children, it is quite another to hear this expectation from the parents of a child/children. First and foremost, Brad and I have prayed and hoped and delighted in the decision to bring Charlie into this world. This was very much our decision. It could be said that Charlie decided that he wanted to come to earth through us, however this does not stand, as we could have chosen to not have any children. So here is the truth, Charlie is here because Brad and I decided we would love to have him in our lives. We did not know fully what sort of commitment we had ahead of us, but I believe that is probably why God gives us one, or two, babies at a time. We become educated on what this parenting business requires and then are able to make decisions on how many more we can care for.
Beyond the fact that we chose to have Charlie in our lives, and though it is very difficult at times, he has brought abundance to Brad and I, both as a couple and individually. We have learned so very much from him! About love, sacrifice, priorities, discipline, bridling passions, play and living in the moment. It is like when you are single you live in 2D, then you marry and life becomes 3D, now our perspective has opened and life is 4D! Our minds and hearts are expanded because of the inclusion of this beautiful child into our family relationship.
So you see why I repel the idea that my baby owes me anything for the life I have given him. I feel the exact reverse; I owe it to him to show him this life, to introduce him into this world in a way that gives him what he has given us.
I will end this by noting that I have the ability to train him to discipline himself, he has his own personality and is basically a kind and generous soul. If I sour these Christlike attributes by my own lack of self-discipline or pride than I have soured them and I certainly hope and pray that I do not, and pray he is strong enough to change the things I ought to have. The reality is that he is a reflection of Brad and I, yes he has his own characteristics and personality and may indeed decide to become a rascal despite our best efforts, but it is undeniable that he learns from us.
This has been playing on my mind for some time. I hope that I will always see what I can do for my babies rather than what they ought to do for me.
Joanna Joy Collett
*A type and shadow is a term used in the scriptures to
describe an experience that represents a similar experience on a larger scale.
For example, we are given a family in this life to help teach us about Gods
family, of whom we are a part. We are given the opportunity to become parents
in this life to help teach us of Gods parenthood.
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