Pregnancy thoughts... Melancholy

This past month has gone by quickly. We have had Benjamin, Daniel, and Samuel here to stay which was incredible! We decided to go snowboarding on a long weekend, Brad got new snowboarding boots for Christmas so of course he wanted to try it out. Unfortunately they didn’t have any boards that would fit Brads boot size, actually we can’t even order a board online for Brad, so we are going to call Burton and have them make one to size :D my husband is so cool!
We have also worked and studied hard! We work and study really hard.
            I have been thinking a lot lately about the view I, as a woman, have of myself. On facebook I see a lot of these posts by Dove which encourage women to see themselves as beautiful no matter the size or day. But again, on facebook I can’t help but also see friends, family, and posts generally of women with bodies much smaller and faces without the rings under their eyes. Doesn’t it seem cruel that one of life’s greatest battles might be our image, and yet as women become pregnant they undergo changes that are so counter to what their ‘desired’ body type would be. Is it one of those no pleasure without pain things? Important lessons to be learnt in life?
            I’m wondering how to process my facebook experiences. Did you know that the average facebook user views their facebook account five times daily? I am above average, by a lot. I’m going to confess something else too, I make a point to only put photos on facebook that are more flattering of myself. The reality is that I don’t look nearly as good as my facebook photos the great majority of the time, particularly lately.

            I wish I had the strength to start a new initiative, true photos. Maybe it would change how I feel about my image, maybe I would finally be able to be the woman I want my daughters to see. 
           I have to make a note here... 
If I had a husband who suggested I put on makeup or even lost some weight I don't know how that would affect me, I only know it would be extremely negative. But he just loves me! tells me daily how beautiful I am and how attracted to me he is. He is the best husband I never knew existed. A true friend who honestly sees me as beautiful no matter the day or size.

“Master the tempest is raging..” just some random thoughts

“Master the tempest is raging..”

            Today in church we sang this song, it stirred me so much I had to write about it. A couple of weeks ago in my New Testament class we learnt about how Christ slept as the apostles and Himself travelled across the sea of Galilee. The Apostles were so scared because they were travelling through the crazy winds that occur daily on that sea. Fearing the boat might capsize they awoke the Master and asked if He cares not that they perish? He simply notes that their faith is yet weak and calms the waves completely (this miracle compounded because this tempest is so perfectly timed on the sea of galilee to this day. It begins around 3pm and continues until the wind interaction ceases, presumably the next morning. I haven’t lived there so I don’t know exactly).
            The song says “the wind and the waves shall obey thy will, peace be still. Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea, or demons or men or whatever it be, no waters can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and sky.”
Why does He so majestically control all? Beside the fact that He created this earth (we each had a hand in it, and therefore have a little control over our small sphere as is our birthright), and that he was born immortal and mortal. I feel somehow that such control first comes from within. Christ loves perfectly, and perfectly knows what he believes and stands for. Therefore, He knows exactly how to behave in every circumstance that presents itself and allows the best outcome because of these factors. He does not allow Himself to lose control, therefore He has all control and nothing and no one can ‘touch’ (for want of better word) Him without His consent.

What does that look like to me? How can I expect to control anything close to the elements if I cannot control myself? Cannot control my inner tempests or passions?

            I can only approach Christ whilst I live within His belief system? Yes, because His belief system is based on laws that were not created by Him, nor did His Father create these laws. These are laws that are eternal, having no beginning and no end. They are what all eternities and worlds and Gods are ruled by, and in order for us to have all freedoms in eternities to come, then we also must abide by these laws. We may say, “Christ’s religion is confining/dictatorial, or that He is the greatest example” in part of this we would be right, but not completely. Christ is not confining or dictatorial, He is a Teacher and teaches us how the laws work. It is not His 'confining' but the laws themselves, which cannot change and, through further study and understanding, actually bring greater freedoms (the reverse is also true. not follow such laws=confinement). He is the greatest example but His example was not just a thing to be appreciated and admired. His true purpose was one of Saviour and Teacher. He needed to teach, but the lessons were worth nothing if He also did not save. These two must have come together or all our souls would have been for Satan to command, as would have been the natural consequence of our fallen state (which was also necessary for progression).

            Today we watched a talk by Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve. He emphasized that we must have ‘clean hands and pure hearts’ in order to enter into the presence of God. This is often spoken of in the scriptures. Clean hands refers to repentance, daily and often (It is not necessary to view this as sack cloth and ashes, it is true sorrow for things we know were wrong and a desire to do better. No need to dwell on these). A pure heart is described as no more desire to do evil but to do good continually.
            If we decide to keep religion simple then here we have the formula. It is surely not very difficult! To call on Christ’s example as teacher again, His ministry on earth was simple! What He taught was simple. Clean hands and Pure heart. I believe we complicate things far too much. We think of the intricacies of Christ’s gospel and almost adopt a Sadducee or Pharisee mentality, where we strain on a gnat and swallow a horse! (Completely misquoted I know, but the point is there).

            I recently learnt, again, that to communicate with Christ is not such a rare thing, nor so impossible as we sometimes think. By communicate I mean face to face as Moses spoke of and many other prophets and apostles and Layman since. I think it’s intriguing how often we bypass the words “ask and ye shall receive. Knock and it shall be open” they seem hidden in plain sight. This scripture tells us to do two things. Each requires action. If we wish to know God all we must do is ask. He will give direction (if our desire is true), this direction will most likely come in the form of doing something which requires us to become worthy to know Him better, then we ask again, another task is given, and again until we see the face of God. However, I promise, that as the process moves along experiences such as Moses had (and every other person who has been so privileged) will occur. So be aware when you ask what it is you are asking for, and the strength you will need to receive it.
            I bring this up only because Christ is the greatest Teacher, and whilst we do have His appointed Prophet and Apostles on earth today and we may perhaps “borrow from their light” if we so wish, they themselves emphasize the need to ask God if what is being taught is true! The fact is that a relationship with Christ directly is the only true way we can know if we are right before Him. He is the one who directs, and His direction is not so opaque or obscure as one might think. It simply takes a desire and dedicated time slot in our head. 

-       SELF-Control

-       Teacher, Saviour, Law abider

-       Clean hands, Pure heart

-       Know God. Ask and Knock

-       Listen and Do

           

The start of school and fall

Dearest Reader,

                I like how life is marked by defining moments, which serve as a catalyst to shifts in my mind and understanding. Speaking, walking, running, EATING, conversation, love, sharing, giving, receiving, responsibilities, commitments, covenants, service, death, new birth, siblings who marry and relationship alterations and changes. I remember several times thinking “now I got it, I understand myself and where I want my life to go and I know exactly how to do that”. Talk about naïve!
                I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the female loved ones in my life who felt extremely conflicted about the man that wanted to date them and whom they eventually married. I asked Elizabeth about this once, she said that it may help to solidify complete devotion and loyalty “It gets all the bad stuff out of the way before the wedding even happens”. I also watched the Lizzie Bennet diaries recently and realised that I got what I have always wanted! A relationship where I misjudged the man, he was the kindest most genuine fellow, and of course we all know the ending… or the beginning (dang Hollywood movies! Always ending the romance at the best part.)
                As you all know, Brad and I recently went to Peru and experienced those amazing people and culture. The picture of simplicity, and not in the Asian interior design way. While we learnt a great deal it was so fantastic to get back to the US. We travelled to San Francisco, rode an elephant, enjoyed crazy slides, fisherman’s Warf, Boudines (why do I enjoy that sour dough goodness so much?), and the lovely beach of Carmel By The Sea. We visited the Collett homestead for a few days en route to Provo. Does anyone else crave routine? Then when you have all the routine you can possibly fit into a day, do you crave a little more of nothing or chaos? That is just sooo me!! Once home we work hard (I get to work on the road, Thank you Damon and Beth!), try to save money and plan.
                Some of that planning includes the next 8 or so years of our life. The pursuit of a medical career for my honey. Did I mention how great he is?! And then part of that planning means I start to get very dizzy, very tired, have a sudden need for brussel sprouts and kind of start feeling quite sick! Isn’t it funny how women put so much work into getting fit and healthy, and what better way to disrupt that than to become pregnant? I realised this might be my situation after I ran a 5k in 30mins and had to lay down for two days straight because I was so dizzy whenever I stood! By Jove!! It sounds even more ridiculous when I read it. Lay down for two days after a run, funny hey. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153171516985597&set=t.787090596&type=3&theater
                Needless to say, we are more than ecstatic. A little munchkin is just what the doctor ordered (permission to roll eyes here). Brad and I have been preparing and hoping for this for some time. Eternities if you want to get philosophical. Prayers and discussion have surrounded the choice of our baby, and welcoming him/her will certainly be one of those major defining moments. We are looking forward to the shifts. And yes, names have already been picked out! (like 6 months ago) I don’t mind admitting just how corny I can be. As for baby clothes….. we’re students guys! If we had the abundance then yes, I would have bought something neutral by now. Did you know you get loads of freebees when you’re pregnant?! We got free prenatal pills (I can’t keep them down, but we have them!) and a free baby bottle by Phillips (It helps that I am an aunty and know what products I like, kind of. I won’t ever admit to taking off with nephews and nieces bottles to try and hold on to my childhood!! So don’t ask, but that may have something to do with liking Phillips bottles).
                So there you go, we are going to be adding to the population of Provo. We may not be unusual to the general public around here, but we feel pretty darn special and blessed.
I hope each of you are doing very well and enjoying the only things in life that are always there.

                Love Joanna Joy Collett
               

Viva Peru!

Dearest Reader,

While it has been an exasperatingly long time since I have updated the Cute Collett Couple blog, I am not going to endeavour to recount the events of the past 6 or so months. Suffice it to say that Christmas was like a fairy tale and wonderful, school was full of ups and downs where both Brad and I ended up well.

Brad and I have recently entered in to the Peruvian culture with all of its finery. We were so excited to explore a country together that neither of us really knew about, and the prospect of helping those in need at the same time was just the cherry on top!

Peru does hold much of which to be fascinated by. Inca ruins, jam packed cities and suburbs, Llamas. We have enjoyed watching another culture at play. With this month being Cuzco month, and us being in Cuzco and all, we have witnessed the festival of the saints, and many other festivals of which I didn’t quite catch the title. But the music with it’s high notes that float through the air through their pipes, and the bright and many colours that are part of their traditional dress all blur together as the people spin and dance. It is simply beautiful!
I particularly love seeing the older women. They might reach just below my shoulder at full height, but they lean forward with their bundles tied to their back across their shoulders. Their skirts flare out giving them even more shape than they have, and they part their hair in the middle plaiting it until it reaches their lower back and then plait the both sides together so it makes a loop. Always their clothes are faded and their faces worn and wrinkled more than I’ve seen a face wrinkled before. These women still work.

The other day Brad and I were sitting in a taxi and watched as a little boy, no older than 6, was running from car to car trying to sell chocolate. At San Pedro markets we watched as another little boy, this time younger, was trying to sell us some of the wares at his stall. The children are as much a part of the house income as the parents it seems.

The suburbs hold homes which are unfinished and dirty. We often will see buildings that are three stories high that have re bar jutting out of the tops and sides as if someone just couldn’t bother to finish it off. The top floor often is just unfinished or partially covered and this seems to be where the families will hang out their washing.

The children here don’t have much at all. I have seen young boys and girls kicking around empty coke bottles as if it were a prized football! There isn’t TV, no movie theatres, they have each other  to play with.

Brad and I have been volunteering at the Mother Teresa Centre for disabled orphans. It is heart wrenching to say the very least. I thought I was strong until I went there.

We have learnt so much in this trip. I knew it was a third world country but I didn’t anticipate the smells and scenes. The pollution is out of this world! A walk down the street has fumes blowing directly into my face, the taste and smell is migrainable! (I know it’s not a word but it’ll do).
But when you get to the country sides! They have the jutting mountains of Utah with all of the green and rainforest of Australia, a little bit of two homes in one. The little towns have buildings made of mud and cobble stone streets with people of all ages working in the fields. Oh! And they don’t only farm on the flat. If you look through the mountains you see a patchwork all over them! They farm on the mountainside! I don’t know how they do it, but it is delightful.

Like I said, Brad and I have learnt much. I think being sick is one of my hardest lessons. I have been sick for about half of this trip, and Brad almost just as much. Between us we have had so much of the bad and ugly that illness can bring. I am not good at being sick generally, but the pain of flu and the dehydration that brings on shakes is almost unbearable! I cried most of the time I was in pain and simply didn't want to move when I was stripped of electrolytes and dehydrated. Brad bore up with much more charm! Caring for me and being strong. Much of this was happening over our weekend to Machu Picchu (travelling in our condition may not be advisable, but it would have been expensive to cancel). But our Machu Picchu day was our best on this trip!! We were truly blessed! We both felt mostly healthy and enjoyed the incredible sights and day.

I told Brad this morning that I think I have a worm in my tummy. He asked me why and I said it’s because I keep on having a nightmare that there is a big worm in my tummy that’s black and I’ll have to sit over a bath with sugar in it in order to have the worm come out! And also because my tummy still hurts a lot of the time and I don’t know why. Brad just smiled and told me I don’t have a black worm and that it wouldn't be in my tummy anyways but in my intestines and that we haven’t been eating the sorts of food that would give me a big worm and my tummy is still hurting from being so sick. I think he’s probably right. (The phantoms of my mind)

Anyway, I believe this is where I leave you. Please know we are safe, Brad is still amazing (probably a lot more amazing than when I last wrote), and I am still in love.

As a closing thought, our first world problems are nothing in comparison to what we have seen here... but I still crave a hot shower, comfortable beds and toilets we can flush paper down ;) Ciao! 

The First Snow

Dearest Reader,

                Again another busy week, but it was so full of such fun things!!
First of all there is always school, homework and work…  but that isn’t the fun part.
Besides receiving some very pleasant notes from very pleasant individuals this week (it is soooo much fun for us to find something in the mail, and then when it has a kind note and cheques! By JOVE!!! Quite overwhelming and very helpful, thank you!) here is how the less studyish part of my week went.
               On Thursday we had the first snow!!  As Brad and I drove to his first class there were small balls of ice coming down, and they quickly shifted to loads of large flakes of snow!! It all gathered so quickly and looked so beautiful! It always gives me the feeling of magic or just overwhelming beauty when I see the snow.

Eventually the snow melted away and I ran a couple of errands. Thursday night it began to snow again and Brad said “Do you wanna go for a walk in the snow?” I’m not stupid! Of course I said “YES!!”. So we got on our coats (Mine very heavy duty and his not so heavy duty: )
I love our walks, especially when the moon is out. I think we solve lifes problems when we go on our walks around the block.
                On Friday I completed all my homework in the morning and was able to go to South Jordan where a lady was selling her Christmas decorations. I bought some beautiful things for very reasonable prices. I have designs on some of the tree decorations though. I want a red and gold tree this year, so I’m going to paint/spray all of the white decorations a deep gold.

 I got these for $5. The rest of the decoration included a tree skirt, pillows, a snow man, and a crystal bowl. I didn't really want the crystal bowl but what can you say when the whole box was cheaper with it. But these decorations are my favorite.

Since I was in the area I seized the opportunity to visit the Anderson Family. Joseph has had quite a creative week with seizures providing a look of some violent action on his appearance, but he is ever cheery and quite willing to describe the incident. Jeshua was caught up in legos so there wasn’t much verbal exchange there, and rightly so. Elijah had on a massive grin and enjoyed watching “Calling all the monsters” by China Anne (Disney) I ought to say that Eliana also enjoy this immensely! I think she was dancing. Beth-Ann said she “really like that show” (It’s a film clip) and when invited to accompany Elizabeth, Eliana and I to pick up Mary from school Beth-Ann promptly declined, knowing that the real fun was at home with her three brothers. But I get to say that she looked at me and changed her mind quite quickly. (Here I also would like to say that Beth-Ann was out playing in the snow as soon as it was on the ground!)
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmSpn3EnsE0  




When Mary was in the car (besides elbowing me ;) we listened to ‘Snow White’ (The Soundtrack) and Mary proceeded to pay out the Snow White voice. Her voice is actually quite squeaky, but I do like it in “Whistle While you Work” But I’m not very good at Whistling, so I like the part where it goes “So hum a merry tune…” for obvious reasons.
                I had to be off quite soon afterward as Brad and I had a Halloween party for our ward.
Brad and I dressed up as Scotsmen. Brad really looked the business with his bag pipe outfit on! Very handsome if I might say so! His outfit represents the McKinley Clan, while my blue and red represented both of our families, the Stuart and McIntyre Clans.  

After the Halloween party we came home, had steak and mash then enjoyed a movie with three other couples. The movie was ‘Darkest Hour’ I believe, it’s supposed to be an action/suspense. You know, aliens and the world is ending… that stuff. I think it ended up being more of a comedy with all of our running commentaries. But just so you know, the acting skills didn’t lend the movie to suspense at all.
                On Saturday Brad and I slept in a little, (I highly recommend this pass time. Sleep is a good thing and one ought to indulge in it regularly!) When we woke up I made bubble and squeak and then we were off! I forget at the moment where to… Oh yes! We went to the Pharmacy and got our seasons’ flu shot, apparently I jumped! The doctor made a bit of a joke of it. But I didn’t even realise, and now I have a sore arm! Brad didn’t jump and he has a sore arm too, at least we match. We picked up some bits and bots, and then continued to the hair cutters, Brad was looking a little like shaggy off Scooby doo so we figured it might just be time. Thank goodness the ladies didn’t cut it quite as short as they usually do. It may have helped that a certain someone said “Please don’t let it get cut so short” (That someone may have been me. In fact it probably was.)
                Anyways, with lunch in our tummies my friend Jessica came over to have a baking day with me (when Brad has to study alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day I get a little fidgety. Thankfully Jessica came over to keep me company because Brent was working from 12-10).
We baked pumpkin bread, Crème Brule, and truffles. With the left over’s I made pavlova and then I made a bbq meat lovers pizza for dinner. And I might just say that there were 12 Crème Brule’s, and now there are only two… I think I might have gone sleep walking, but what do you do when Crème Brule is calling?

 

Today we were invited to attend the primary presentation for the Anderson Children. Oh so fun!!! I am definitely a doting aunty! Every time one of them looked at me I was waving like a maniac! Or blowing kisses. But they were just too cute! Elijah, Jeshua and Beth-Ann were in the presentation and preformed fantastically. Afterward we went to the Andersons for some afternoon tea of delicious chicken and chilli soup with pavlova and ice-cream for dessert.  As we left Elijah, Jeshua and Bethy were keen to sing a song again (I think its becoming a tradition! How FUN!!). So they sang “Tie me Kangaroo down Sport” and of course Jeshua just had to sing “Tan me hide when I’m Dead FRED! And that’s it hanging on the Shed!!” all Elijah could say was “That’s gross!”
                I believe this is quite a fair enough way to end. Though I’d prefer it if nobody, especially Fred, would do the above when I’m dead.

Something before I go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ

Most Sincerely,
Joanna Joy Collett.